Hi! I'm the truely terrible and fantastic Tracy Beaker! You've probably heard of me! I have been in TONS of books: The Story of Tracy Beaker; The Dare Game; Starring Tracy Beaker; and a short story called Tracy Beaker's Thumping Heart! I even have a series named after me! See? I'm practically famous! More famous than Cam'll ever be, anyway!

Cam's my foster mum. She's just waiting for the right time to come and say that she'll adopt me, and then we'll rush off on a celebratory holiday, just like on honeymoons, and she'll take me to Hollywood to go and see my mum, and then we'll shop in every single store in the Disney Park in Florida. It's only a matter of time.

If you're thinking "What's all this about fostering? Has someone put this fantastical child in care? How dare they!" then yes, you are well and truely correct. But I went into care when I was 4, and I still hate it, even if I do miss just a few of my friends. Not everyone is my friend though, like that old gorilla, Justine and her soppy little friend Louise. I used to like Louise, but then she betrayed me while I was stuck with a stupid set of foster parents who dumped me back at the home because she was gonna have her own kid. I could have helped and everything, and I wouldn't have been even a little bit jelous. But not many people listen to me, and those who do, they don't trust me. So I was dumped back at the dumping ground.

I sometimes have arguments with Cam though. It's just silly stuff though, about money and school. Ok, sometimes, just once I nicked a tenner out of her purse. It wasn't my fault, she should have put it away. If I hadn't taken it, then a complete stranger might have come in through the window and taken it insted. I was doing her a favour, but again, no one listens. I sometimes take other stuff like pens, because all mine have run out during the process of writing my best-selling books, and just this old locket thing. I wanted to put a picture of my mum in it. It's been about a year since I saw her last, but that was when I was in this other school with this truely horrific teacher, Ms. Vomit Bagley. I hated that school, apart from one teacher there, but he teached Year 3s, and I was one of the toughest Year 6s.

But anyway, I had bunked off school for about a full week, going to this weird old empty house in town, and met up with a few friends there, Football and Alexander. I don't really go there anymore. We got mucking around with a lighter and some cardboard, and there's ashes and burnt cardboard everywhere, and the garden's not a pretty sight either. And then there is all the memories, because I pushed Alexander other during an argument, and he broke his leg. But there are good memories there as well, like that time I got dared to climb to the very top of the tallest tree in the garden and put my knickers on the very top-most branch, and I did, and they're probably still hanging there, all soggy and limp with maybe a little family of robins living in it.

I am a very talented child though. Lots of people comment on my imagination and writing skills, but people like Ms. Bagley thought that my imagination was very quite like warped, and I needed to improve on my punctuation and grammar and handwriting and all that boring stuff. I like art as well, and I always give my stories a few illustrations too, no matter how soppy or gory they may be. I am also one of the school's most talented actresses. Didn't you hear about my stunning performace as Scrooge in A Christmas Carol? I got a big bunch of flowers, professional hair and makeup, but sadly my mum was starring in her own blockbuster film at the time so she couldn't come and see me, but Cam did insted. She said I was truely magnificent, but I still want to become a writer when I grow up. Not like Cam, but write stories for children instead.

I am ten years old and my birthday is on 8th May, but it's not fair as that weedy Peter Ingham has his birthday then too.I have dark brown short curly hair and pale skin.

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